I am a “self guilter”. No need for anyone to guilt me because I am good enough at it, as is. Granted, guilt is not something I shoot for but, sometimes it can be overwhelming. Learning how to manage “feeling bad” about not succeeding in goals, to do lists and time management is difficult but, is a part of my daily, self improvement goals.
According to John M. Grohol, Psy.D.,
“Guilt is an emotional warning sign that most people learn through their normal childhood social development. Its purpose is to let us know when we’ve done something wrong, to help us develop a better sense of our behavior and how it affects ourselves and others. It prompts us to re-examine our behavior so that we don’t end up making the same mistake twice.”
How do I manage my guilt? I start with a plan for the day. 1st thing in the morning I create two (2) “to do lists”.
- What is required to complete today
- What would be great if I could complete today
As I work through my lists, I highlight and check off the completed tasks and give myself a little Wahoo! As a result, I feel accomplished and receive a little joy in my day.
Things I consider:
- How important is the task?
- Realistically, do I have time to accomplish the task?
- How would it feel if I were to accomplish the task?
- If something doesn’t work out for the day, can I move it to tomorrow?
Recognizing that my thoughts control my feelings, I push out negative, self-degrading thoughts and try to replace it with positive thoughts. During management training over the years, I came across the concept to replace every negative thought with 5 positive thoughts. In doing so, I discovered how easily that strategy can turn things around.
If all else fails and I end up feeling guilty about something, I forgive myself and move forward. 🙂
Here’s to guilt free living.
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